Would you believe that I hated that saying with a passion because the only time I heard it was when something bad happened. But now that I’m older and a bit wiser I’ve come to realize that Everything Does Happen For A Reason… When you accept that then you can look back at all the Major events in your life and when you do that you’ll realize that everything that has happened to you has was for a reason it was to make us who we are today.
My mother died when I was very young, She’s been gone for 26 years. It’s been a rough 26 years without her in my life. My mother meant the world to me, when the higher power said her time was up I’m sure it was for a good reason maybe she was meant to live out another life. She was barely into her mid 30’s. I’ve outlived my mother but it hasn’t been easy and I’ve attempted to take the easy way out a few times but something or someone always intervened.
Over the years more loved one’s were taken away further traumatizing me. By my 20’s stepping into a funeral home makes me physically ill, It started with the sudden death of a childhood friend then some years later the death of an ex gf who had cystic fibrosis very serious case in and out of the hospital some years later the I lost a son I never had was my ex gf baby then in the most recent years I lost a friend to a drug overdose left for dead in a crack house by her junkie bf. When I found heard the news I was crushed and still would like to beat the shit out of him if he’s alive.
I’ve asked myself over and over why? What is the reason for taking all these people out of my life? Is this a test life? Put me through my own personal hell take all the people that mean something to me to test me? See how strong I really am how far can I make it before I reach the edge.
I’m 34 years old, I live in the basement of a motel. My Father wants nothing to do with me because of petty shit. I honestly don’t know what I want to do with my life, I have idea’s what I’d like to do. I know why I ended up at this motel, I’m learning it everyday because everyday I become more and more thankful for finding this family because at this point in my life I need family be it blood or not blood. This place is my home away from home.
If people actually read this stuff, I apologize for being all over the place. So many thoughts go through my head and It’s hard to focus or keep track on one thing, I start actually writing then it turns into a rant
I’m not much of a writer, I’m a photographer. Writing, Ranting, Venting whatever you want to call it helps me clear the thoughts so I don’t have a break down. If your actually reading this then that means I actually posted something I wrote half the time I’ll write something about this long read it say no one cares and delete it
If no one cares then no one cares, you don’t comment oh well you don’t comment
All I ask Is you don’t JUDGE me based on what I chose to share, You don’t know me and don’t know everything I’ve suffered through over the years. Yes It’s life and shit happens to everyone. We all have our own personal struggle/demon’s we fight everyday behind closed doors.
This Is my Struggle