Going into todays Bio job I was not given any details all I knew was a suicide… I found out it was a small caliber weapon used threw and threw shot…
My anxiety only kicked in when we turned off the main road driving down winedy back back back wrong turn country roads, houses were little shakes or run down mobile homes scattered throughout the Kentucky landscape….
The drive there was an adventure in itself driving up and down hills sandwiched between rock faces you see back home in PA followed by those Yellow signs that say Falling Rock Zone.
Yeah 110 miles of watching the mountains we were passing between felt like HOME, I’ve never been to Kentucky so I had no idea what to expect. When I saw all the roads that broke off into the woods I had an idea what we were driving into but once we hit the back country Roads of Inez Kentucky GPS was messed up Phones had no service GPS said turn left we turn left couple miles of paved narrow road then goes to gravel with a steep hill as we crest the hill all we see is a muddy dirt road of a drop off. Backed the van and trailer in a hidden drive drove out back to the main road 1 phone started working again so drove some more back country roads that led to the little town of Inez.
What I learned from today’s job is suicide affects everyone around you. You are hurting everyone you know, everyone who loves and cares about you, the people you interact with daily…
Honestly after today, Taking your own life is one of the most selfish things you could do and it will change everyone possibly causing a chain reaction because you had no idea how much people really did care about you and now they feel lost without you… I say this after I’ve had the thoughts myself and came close to following thru.
When I was there cleaning up the mess I didn’t think about what happened. I thought about his family and friends the people that lived around him. That was probably the hardest part of this job.
I say all this because I’m going thru it and have been going thru it all my life. We are all fighting a battle inside, some can cope and hide it better than others.
Take it from me Life Sucks I know all about it, It really does help to talk to a friend when your having the thoughts or just feeling like it’s not really worth it anymore. A real friend will talk you down and help you clear your head make sense or try to make sense of what’s going on because a true friend will be there when you call them upset a true friend will talk to you and not judge you or break you down more. When you feel weak a true friend will be there to help you feel strong again.
We are all stronger than we know or even think
If you are fighting and wake up everyday to keep fighting while fighting for others who need help… You are stronger than you think